by WingAttackPlan-R » Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:48 pm
Special Report: `Boneheads make `Boneheaded` Play of All Recorded History`
As Indemion continues to prosper under the mailed-fist of Centauri benevolence, the evil and strangely narcissistic Minbari (or `Boneheads` for short) have taken the rascist and aggressive decision to attack the peace-loving internees on Indemion.
When the average Indemionate gets back from their thirty-six hour shift in the mines, they will be shocked to hear that their tranquil existence under the Centauri lash is to be threatened by a race who wear their heads inside out, and consume twice their own body mass of their own wee in any given day.
Although there is no evidence to support any of this, it is a scientific fact.
We asked one outraged resident, Prisoner 4573847, what he thought.
"Please can I sleep now?" he sobbed with utter fury at the actions of our mutual Boneheaded foe.
Prisoner 8367645, who wished to stress that he was not on Death Row and that his views were entirely his own said: "Yeah, boo to bad guys, hoorah for the....er....Confederacy...I mean CENTAURI, and I wish to admit to being the second gunman in the Kennedy assasination and want seven thousand other offences to be taken into consideration, apparently...AAARRGGHH!!!!"
HoHo, those peasant classes and their quirky humour, laughing in the face of Boneheaded hostlity; let their near anhilation in the coming conflict be an example to us all.
-Centauri Office of the Indemion Protectorate
"Across the Federation, Federation experts agree that: A: God exists, B: He's on our side, C: He wants us to win."
-Federation Announcer